the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Never underestimate the power of titties
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