I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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