I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
