Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize