he thought i was a dude.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
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He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
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I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize