Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why can't burritos get me drunk
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize