Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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