I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
