kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
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