we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Randomize
