I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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