be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize