i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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