1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Randomize
