She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Randomize
