How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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