she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
