Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
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