Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
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No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
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And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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