I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
