I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
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She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
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HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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