i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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