i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Randomize
