Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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