Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
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