Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
vagina is talking i cant
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
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