Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
