I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
