It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize
