Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Randomize
