I feel like I'm in dance class right now
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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