FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize
