well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
