I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
