Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
