May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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