dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
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