Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Is it because I queefed?
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Randomize
