I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
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