i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
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