i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
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