I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Randomize
