May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Randomize
