I molested 6 butterflies tonight
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize