My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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