Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Swine flu is the new snow day.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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