so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Randomize
