come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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