If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
