I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Randomize
