Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Is Oprah even human
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
