I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
