I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
