My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like heaven, but drunker
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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