So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize