We're like a lot better than the average bears
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
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