dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Randomize
