I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Holy sore nipples Batman
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
