i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
