I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Randomize
