we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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