No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
