please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
He shit in the fireplace
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