dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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