I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
