Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
