He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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